Ripple and Tesla launch stablecoin

From our most stable reporter

Breaking news: Ripple and Tesla launch a new stablecoin together, which they will call the Mars dollar. It will be worth exactly one dollar. It is expected to launch next year around noon.

To keep the coin stable an algorithm has been developed, using the minerals from Mars as collateral, if anyone starts to moan about getting their money back. Of course this sounds fishy, so we asked Ripple and Tesla for a reaction.

“Well, if people want to change their Mars stablecoin for real assets, they can invade Mars and take whatever minerals they want for it. There are more than enough minerals on Mars, so we expect this algorithm to keep the Mars dollar strong.”

A stablecoin for the people

In a joint press statement they stated that this will be a true stablecoin for the people. Residents from Mars will get a promise from the Marsupian government that this stablecoin will always be worth at least an American dollar. If it ever loses this value, the governement will release an alien from Area 51. Ripple:

“This will be a coin from the people for the people of Mars. The bank of Mars, which will issue the Mars dollar, shall be a public bank, once a million people are customer.”

Our reporter, who is always sharp and stable, asked representatives from the companies on a trip with the Starship from New York to Philadelphia if this is a good time to launch it, as there still are no residents on Mars.

“We are aware that the press is always busy with details, but we try to see the big picture. The future is happening right now and soon Mars will crawl with people, asking for Mars stablecoins.”

Our reporter, who isn’t much of a philosopher, was awed by this statement and quickly fled the scene, once the spaceship landed in this one minute trip, that felt like an hour to him.