Eastern Promises Crypto

Listen up you Viggolantes: Eastern promises crypto barely anything! Bitcoin is going sideways for months now, while the atmosphere around crypto is rather bearish.

Y’all know Watts comin: a full fledged bear market, which already started in Oktober 2025. Everybody Hassan declining wallet but feels like he Isarov customer who plays it hard.

You Cassel to Bitcoin and then back to cash because you chicken out. You Armin engaged, but max greedy. You want a Cronenberg but end up with an iceberg.

The lookout for Bitcoin

Bitcoin has hardly moved since the januari – februari crash. It is stuck between the €55-65K zone. With a 45ish RSI and low trade volumes I don’t see a big move in the near future, although I still think it is very bearish. Only a small event could deliver the next crash to €45-50K.

My predictions and my hopes for the coming months is that it will fall to around €30K, so I can dump my cash stack in and sleep for two years.

One thing is for certain: tomorrow the price of Bitcoin will be higher or lower than today. (not financial advice!)

The story of Ethereum

Ethereum shares just about the same sideway movements with Bitcoin. Since the january crash it has moved inbetween €1.500 and €2.000.

I guess he is a dedicated follower of fashion. Whatever Bitcoin does, I can do too! Even the RSI looks around the same.

Chances for USDT

USDT has had a great week and moved up by 1.2%. If he keeps it up he could be more than 60% up in a year.

This might be a good chance to go all in on him, as he has the flow going with him. The volumes are much higher than those of Bitcoin and Ethereum, so we can say USDT is very popular.

The Siren’s call

Siren has had a rough week. It had days that the price doubled up and days the price doubled down. I heard that the Olympian Gods are manipulating the Siren’s to get sailors to an early grave though. So, beware when trading. The Gods may have it in for ya!

The strength of my advice

Listen up you guys n dolls: I don’t know more about what the future is gonna bring than that Runestone next to you does. Come to think of it, maybe he knows more if you throw it on a floor around you. Course if you throw it off a cliff, how can you still read it, right?

So don’t come down from HODLing, don’t start yodling, I warned you there may be bats under your pillow. If you go FOMO or YOLO and buy yourself some Holo, as long as you DYOR there is no need to FUD. Your AUM will go to ATH YTD if your TVL has been DeFied well.

BTFD if you wanne be hip, but I think your a NEO with a yearning for ROI. Don’t sell your RWA for some extra APY, just do your TA.

A visit from the Eastern Bunny

The Eastern Bunny has come to town to hide some eggs in my neighbourhood. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to find a golden one yet, but my dinner has been a lot cheaper, now egg prices are going through the roof.

Bunny told me I should start my own coin and rug pull it to have a comfortable life, but my high morals told me never to trust wildlife that only eats vegetables and is seen only once a year.