Tron Launches RAIN Token
From our woke reporter who always votes Democrats, unless the sun shines
Tron has launched the RAIN Token, after their great success with the SUN Token. This token will be available on the Tron blockchain, but not everybody will be able to buy it.
Apparantly you have to get through a MAGA test to see if you are worthy of this token. Justin Sun launched this token to address his concerns over the rise of woke people and the damage they do to frogs.
“Besides”, he stated to officials from the Trump Foundation, “these woke people always want to bade in the sunlight, so they have no right to a little rain. If you can’t take a little battery in your life, you can always buy our SUN Token, which has only lost 99,9% of his value. Of course the Democrats are to blame for that!”
Justin Sun has also stated that he works together with the American president, who gets 10% of token sales. In return, if you buy 1 million RAIN Tokens you will get exclusive insight into the plans of the president. If Trump plans to set extra tariffs, you will hear this one day ahead of Him doing so. If America is gonna attack another country, same deal. This way you can go short and make a ton of money without having to be a good trader.
A RAIN token will cost $6,66, so for $6,66 million you can Make America (and yourself) Great Again.
A clever deal
As Justin Sun is not stupid, he knows that the average right wing voter does not have more than 6 million bucks laying around, so he made a special deal with the Overlord of right wing voters, none other than the Devil himself!
Satan has declared that he will pay the 6,66 million bucks for the small price of your soul. Nobody believes in that shit anymore, so nothing lost, a lot gained! At least, that’s what I want them to think, muhahahahaha! Always in for a joke, this Satan.
The Devil has stated that he is willing to send his fallen angels to help if he ever falls short on time to take the souls of greedy Republicans. Beelzebub, Belial and Lucifer approved of his message, written in the blood of their victims.
Our reporter gets a refund
On this sunny day our reporter made this test and had all questions right, except the ones on the left.
He elaborated that he didn’t know the answer to:
“What is a banana stuck to a wall with duct tape worth?”
My answer, “something like a buck?” apparantly wasn’t correct.
“What was the most expensive lunch ever?”
Around 1.000 bucks wasn’t correct either.
So he bought 1 million RAIN Tokens, after delivering his soul to the Devil, but he got a refund. In the refund letter Satan stated that he didn’t like no stinking Democrat soul in his Afterlife, as Hell has no need of people who believe in rights and that kinda shit. Besides, look what the Democrats did with frogs!
Exclusive interview with Justin Sun
Our reporter then had an exclusive interview with Justin Sun about RAIN.
“Sun is cold and rain is hard”, Justin stated.
“I don’t wanna talk about the weather!” our reporter said.
“I can’t help it if you don’t know your classics. Typical for a Democrat!” Justin stated.
“Oh, eh, well,” mumbled our reporter, “how many RAIN Tokens are you expecting to sell?”
“I don’t think in numbers, but in goals,” Justin stated, “I expect to erase the American national debt in around 2 months with the sale of this RAIN Token and have a couple of hundreds of trillions of dollars laying around to pay for groceries.”
“Why do you think you sell that many?”
“Well, Republicans believe greed is good and many people don’t actually still believe in a soul, so they will sell them cheaply. It is a perfect storm, so we are on the brink of Making America Great Again.”
“Isn’t it illegal to sell souls in America?”
“Of course not! People here do it every day. They are just not aware of it! Besides, I don’t think Satan will care for your woke criticism.”
“Just one more thing: What is this thing about frogs?”
“So typical for a left wing woke bloke to ask! If you don’t know the frog story, don’t even think about hitting on RAIN.”
Our reporter, who has nothing against frogs, didn’t dare to ask any further, as he feared Justin would see him as stupid, so he ended this exclusive interview as confused as he started it.
